anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
