He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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