we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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