I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
