She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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