Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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