I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
