after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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