so that wasnt chicken after all
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
