Sponge bath it is.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
