Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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