You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
