Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
