reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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