Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
