Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Small penises have feelings too.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize