Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I supernannyed him into submission
A bitchslap is in order.
PANTIES FOUND
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