You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
