I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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