Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
True strength comes from lack of pants
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