I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
