Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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