If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
