you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
