You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
