Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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