I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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