Too much gin, very little bucket
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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