He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
