When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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