It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
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