Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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