We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize