I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
