No stitches, just platelets and will power
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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