Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
