it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
there is glitter all over my balls
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
