i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
