Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
