yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
