You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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