even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
