and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
