Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
