I'm laying in your front yard are you home
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
