Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
