I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize
