you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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