you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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