In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
