Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
