Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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