Well apparently he's into motor boating.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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