margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
