Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Randomize
