honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize