a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Randomize
