How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
