I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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