Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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