let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
