maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
