coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
