I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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