First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize