My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
