i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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