If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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