So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
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When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
